My Love Affair With India Is Dying…

…and has been dying for quite a while now. I would say that right now we are in that awkward stage where you are trying to divide up your life together. You know, when you still have to be seen together, but you already know that things are heading toward a break-up, you just aren’t sure exactly when it’s going to happen. I know exactly what’s causing the affair to go sour; it is happening because everything happens like this (finally a story my previous colleagues can truly appreciate!):

Back in July, I decided to purchase a scooter, a Honda Activa. I wanted to have more freedom to roam around and not always have to be dependent on negotiating with auto drivers for my travels around the city. I applied for a loan from ICICI Bank because that is the bank the showroom I bought my Activa from dealt with. I wasn’t too impressed when, after a week of waiting without hearing anything, I discovered that they had lost part of my application. I re-filled out the form and submitted all sorts of additional documents for things to proceed.

One of the things they do in India is send someone to your home to verify your address. When the guy came, very early one morning, he was much more interested in the fact that I had two MALE roommates and I was married to neither of them than he was in actually verifying any of the information he was supposed to.

Finally, everything was verified and approved and I went in to sign the loan paperwork. I specifically asked the guy if I could pay it off early and he said that would be no problem, although I might have to pay a penalty of a couple of month’s interest. I also filled out a form to have the monthly payments deducted from my local account, to start in August. By the end of August, I started to get calls saying that they haven’t received a payment. When I did some investigating, I got all sorts of different answers about why it hasn’t happened correctly (the form got lost, my bank returned it, they can’t do it from my local bank account, etc) Finally, they agreed to send someone to collect the payment. We set up a time for the collection, I sat around waiting and the guy never showed up! When I call up, annoyed, they set another time and the same thing happens. At this point, I stop setting up times and told them that can send the guy whenever they like, if they happen to get me at home I will give him the money. Well, the collector decided tell everyone in my building that I owe money on my loan and how much I owe. Can you imagine? I was LIVID!

Anyway, that finally got straightened out, but I decided I was not happy with the bike. (It’s too heavy and I’m not comfortable driving it in traffic.) So, I sold it to someone I know. It was close to my visit home, so we agreed to complete the formalities when I got back. Which brings us to now. I went to the bank where my loan is; however, the loan “officer” there tells me (without even looking it up on the computer) that I need to go to a different branch. I go to that branch and explain what I want to do. The receptionist directs me to another man who (again without even looking) tries to direct me to still a different branch. I protest because the first branch sent me here and he takes me back to another guy who actually does look it up on a computer and tells me that I have to go to yet a completely different branch. I’m so annoyed by this point in time, I tell him I just want a number to complain. He gives me a number, which I go home and call. After speaking to the manager, and explaining the whole situation, he says he needs to do some checking and will call me back. He doesn’t even bother to apologize for the inconvenience or ineptitude of his staff-no empathy whatsoever! He does, however, call me back (surprising enough in itself) and tells me that it is impossible to close the loan in less than 6 months. I point out that I won’t be here by the time the loan is 6 months old. He tells me they can do nothing but if I don’t pay, they will take legal action. I’m thinking to myself that the loan amount is much less than the cost of sending someone to the US to track me down, but whatever. I can’t believe that a financial institution would rather risk loosing the loan money than try to come to some agreement over a penalty payment.

I think that dealing with ICICI Bank has been THE MOST unprofessional experience I have had here in India and, trust me, there have been many competitors for that title!